Micro Goals for When You Don’t Know What You Want in Life

If you don’t know what you want in life, you don’t need a five-year plan to start moving. Set micro goals instead: small, doable steps for this week. Sort out the things that need sorting first, then pay attention to what you enjoy and what you seem to be good at. Clarity usually shows up while you’re busy doing small things.

Is it normal not to know what you want?

Yes, and it’s far more common than social media makes it look. Scroll for five minutes and everyone seems to have a clear career path and a morning routine that starts at 5am. Most people are working it out as they go.

There was a stretch in my own life when I felt completely stuck. I didn’t enjoy my work or the people around me, and I couldn’t see where to go next. Only later did I realise that it’s okay not to know. Nobody expects you to have your whole life planned out, and the people who look like they do usually have more doubts than they show.

What are micro goals?

A micro goal is a goal small enough to finish in a day or a week. It doesn’t depend on knowing your life purpose. It just needs to be clear and possible.

Some examples:

• Reply to the email you’ve been avoiding.
• Cancel one subscription you don’t use.
• Cook one proper meal at home this week.
• Spend 20 minutes reading about one course, job or hobby that caught your eye.
• Go for a walk without your phone on Sunday.

None of these will change your life on their own. Together, they get you moving, and moving is what helps you notice what you like.

Start with what needs sorting first

When I started setting micro goals, I began with the things that simply needed doing. It’s hard to think about what you want from life when a pile of unfinished admin is sitting at the back of your mind.

Try this: write down everything that’s been nagging at you. Pick the one that would bring the most relief and do only that one this week. When it’s done, cross it off and choose the next. Your head feels a lot lighter once a few of these are out of the way.

Then notice what you enjoy and what you’re good at

Once the urgent things are under control, you have space for the more interesting question: what do you like doing, and where does it come easily?

You don’t need a personality test for this. A few honest questions work well:

• What do you lose track of time doing?
• What do friends ask you to help with?
• What did you enjoy as a child, before anyone told you what was “useful”?
• What do you keep reading about or watching videos on?

Write your answers down and look at them again in a month. Then turn one of them into a micro goal. If you keep saving recipes, cook one. If you keep watching drawing videos, buy a cheap pencil set and try for 15 minutes. Think of it as a test, and remember that a test you don’t enjoy still tells you something useful.

If you’d like an easy way to keep track of these thoughts, my 5-minute journaling habit is a good place to start.

The one-thing-a-day rule

Here’s a micro goal that helped me more than I expected. I noticed I was neglecting my home. Washing up waited too long and laundry piled up on the chair. So I set myself one rule: one thing for the home each day. Just one.

It can be as small as wiping the hob or emptying the bathroom bin. The funny part is that once I start, I often end up doing more. The goal is small enough that I never dread it, and the extra jobs tend to happen on their own.

This works for almost anything, from one page of a book a day to one job application a week. The trick is choosing something so small you can’t really argue with yourself about it.

How to set New Year goals without being too hard on yourself

I still set New Year goals, and I enjoy it. What has changed is how strict I am with myself. I used to be much harder on myself about them. Now I keep them small and give myself room to change my mind.

A few things that help:

• Choose two or three goals for the year, each with one micro goal to start with in January.
• Hold them loosely. If a goal stops fitting your life in April, let it go.
• Look back before you look forward. My New Year journal prompts for looking back and starting again are a good way to do that.

I use my own New Year workbook, because it takes me through the year that’s ending before I start planning the next one. If you’d like a copy, it’s free when you join the newsletter, together with the other printables in the Zeny Lane freebie library.

Your life is your business

The last thing I want to say is the one that took me longest to learn. Do your best, try not to hurt anyone along the way, and live your life the way you want to. How you live is nobody else’s business unless you let it be.

Life and career are not a race. Some people find their path at 22, others change direction completely at 50. You’re allowed to take your time and to try things that don’t work out.

If you’d like more small ways to slow down while you figure things out, have a look at slow living for beginners.

A few questions

What should I do if I have no idea what I want in life?

Start small. Sort out one thing that’s been bothering you this week, then try one new activity that sounds even slightly interesting. Pay attention to how each one makes you feel.

How many goals should I set at once?

Fewer than you think. Two or three bigger goals with one micro goal each is plenty. With too many goals at once, most of them never get started.

Is it too late to figure out what I want?

No. There’s no deadline. People change careers and discover new interests at every age.

With warmth,

Zeny

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